Pack of Four

Pack of Four
Nightmare, Gabbi, Arme & Kilo

Jun 27, 2010

Drowning out most of the experience...

I realized yesterday as I weeded my garden with my MP3 player playing in my ears, how much of an experience is drowned out by an MP3! I realized without being able to hear the sound of the weeding ripping out of the soil, there wasn`t as much satisfaction. Usually I can use weeding as way of relieving stress, but without hearing the weeds being ripped out, it wasnt as satisfying. This got me curious about other things I am missing out on when I am listening to my music... I will keep people posted. Let me know if you are missing out on things because of your music player.

Jun 24, 2010

Dogs reduce imposter complex

This past year has been intense. The level of stress, anxiety and depression I have struggled with has been unparalleled. Completing my Masters was a big part of the stress, but there was immense satisfaction that came along with it. Work has been excruciating, two major audits from government departments and significant hold ups of funding. All of this has physical, mental, and emotional effects on my health. Last couple of days has been tiring, can feel my body fighting off something. I find this frustrating, cause I have so much to do at work. The more pressure I feel, the more my body wants to withdraw. This is where my dogs come in.

My dogs provide me with the comic relief, motivation to get out and about, and companionship. Today they waited while I slept until 3pm. I was finally able to get enough energy to take them out. I knew I wasn't going to be able to walk them, but at least if I took them out to where we hike, they could run around, dig, and chase chipmunks. Then I took them to the lake for a swim. This energized me, the cool breeze, sun, and water. I was so happy to see that all the puppies love to swim and fetch. This is one of my favourite things, is to go to the lake and swim and suntan. So knowing I have dogs who love to do similar activities, makes me happy.

I love to socialize and interact with coworkers, clients, friends and family etc. I focus all my attention, empathy, listening, etc when I am with them. But I also feel like I am intruding on people when I spend time with people. Like they could be doing something better with their time. This is the root of my imposter complex. While my imposter complex has lessened in recent years, I still struggle with it continuously. I would welcome any new perspectives about people`s imposter complexes, if you are willing to share.

Jun 21, 2010

Masters is completed, what is my identity now?

As I frame my Masters degree and put the finishing touches on my first article to be published, I reflect on my new identity, the domesticated academic. The balance of education, home, work, four dogs, and a social life has increased my awareness of the connectivity of various roles and identities one person can navigate. While many people focus on their professional roles and accolades. For example, I am registered social worker, executive director of a non profit agency, and a have a masters of arts degree. These titles, are just that, titles that come with a bunch of expectations. They do not really provide a clear illustration of who I am as a person.

I have met many other people, mostly women, who struggle with aspects of identity. Imposter complex plagues many women. It is through my blog I hope to provide some insight from my personal and professional journey related to discovering my current identity. I hope to learn about other people and identity struggles, including men.

I will also share highlights about my professional life as an executive director and being a dog lover, with four dogs, the oldest seven years old and the other three, all thirteen monthes old.