It always comes back to the mother... why?

Louise Erdrich is one of my favourite authors. Her description is sensual and moving. I recently read 'The Painted Drum' by Louise Erdrich (2005).  There was a quote that resonated with me:

"It is difficult for a woman to admit that she gets along with her own mother - somehow it seems a form of betrayal, at least, it used to among other women in my generation. To join in the company of women, to be adults, we go through a period of proudly boasting of having survived our own mother's indifference, anger, overpowering love, the burden of her pain, her tendency to drink or teetotal, her warmth or coldness, praise or criticism, sexual confusions or embarrassing clarity.  It is isn't enough that she sweat, laboured, bore her daughters howling or under total anesthesia or both.  No. She must be responsible for our psychic weaknesses the rest of her life. It is all right to feel kinship with your father, to forgive.  We all know that.  But your mother is held to a standard so exacting that it has no principles. She simply must be to blame". (p. 20)

The feelings evoked by this quote cannot be identified & examined all at once... but must be allowed to surface, then courted, before committing to them...

For myself, I am in a place where I can freely love, have fun and look forward to spending time with my mom.  But for me it only came once I did not hold myself to such 'exacting' standards.

Please share your thoughts...

Xmas decorations 2011

I am back in the holiday spirit! I wanted to share some pictures of my favorite decorations and some snowman wreaths I made!

My tree upstairs

 Tree in kitchen upstairs, the green star is so beautiful!

 My mini snowman wreath on front door!

 Big snowman wreath at the front of the house

 Tree downstairs in family room with a flash of Kilo in front!

 My newest snowman added to the collection! It lights up so much!

 Melting snowman decoration!

 Large snowman wreath, painted white! Still have to add arms, hat, & scarf!

 Inside Art snowman ball

 Inside Art snowman large ball

 A snowman decoration made out of a gourd! SOOOO Cool!

 Beaded snowman my sister brought me back from Mexico!

 My souvenir from New Orleans!

Merry Christmas from Laura and the puppies!

The sagebush Mariposa Lily

 I generally hike regularly with my dogs! One of the highlights for me is to see the Sagebush Mariposa Lily.

This lily is a perennial plant from a bulb about the size of a walnut. The plant has grass like leaves and usually one flower which is showy with three petals. It enjoys grassy slopes and can stand a hot climate. The bulb are palatable and nutritious when boiled, roasted or steamed.

This gives me hope that I might be able to transplant a couple of these beauties!

The following information was retrieved from :
http://www.botanicalgarden.ubc.ca/potd/2005/06/calochortus_mac.php

In the book Plants of Southern Interior British Columbia, the authors point out that “mariposa” means butterfly in Spanish. You can likely see the resemblance.  Unfortunately, the authors also point out that Calochortus macrocarpus is a tasty plant for cattle, one of the reasons it is now quite uncommon. To whit:
“Sagebrush mariposa lily is highly palatable to livestock and it will disappear from highly grazed areas. This species was once widespread, but it is now considerably less common and harvesting the flowers or bulbs is discouraged because it destroys the entire plant.”
Miller, Allen and Antos, in the Canadian Journal of Botany 82(12): 1790-1799 (2004), observed that individual plants of Calochortus macrocarpus can remain dormant (i.e., not emerging above ground during a a growing season) for a period of one to four years (source / abstract: Dormancy and flowering in two mariposa lilies (Calochortus) with contrasting distribution patterns.). This seems to be a strategy by the plant to avoid unfavourable environmental conditions in a particular year, allowing it to instead grow within an environmental regime that is more favourable to eventual reproduction.

My Dog Pack- Through sickness and in health!

As long as I can remember I had dogs in my life.  My first childhood dog was 'Boots', a black dog... I think.  My second dog was Sam, black lab mix. I loved Sam, I taught him to climb a ladder, lay down while I pulled grass and covered him in it. 

My third childhood dog was Rebel.  He was actually my step-brother's dog.  Lucky.  My parents got him while I was away for a few days.  He was a great surprise to come home to!  Lucky and I walked all over Tulameen, in the woods, I never felt unsafe with him beside me.  He was hit by a car a few weeks before I was to leave home to go to college in 1992.  I missed him terribly.

For years I dreamed of having a dog and the constant companionship and unconditional love it provides.  

Finally in June 2003, once we purchased a house I was able to get a puppy.  I went to the SPCA and combed through the newspaper ads. 

I found Gabbi at the SPCA in Vernon.  I fell in love with her immediately.  She was such a smart puppy.  I couldn't stand the thought of leaving her at home while I was at work, so being the boss, I started bringing her to work with me.  Consumers and staff loved her and offered to take her for walks. 

She has such a personality and loves people.  She isn't fond of kids, so she leaves when kids come around.

After I had Gabbi for a few monthes, I wanted to get another dog, to keep her company.  So I went looking at the SPCA in Vernon, and found Nightmare!

Nightmare was a good boy and loved everyone. He loved cuddling, hunting, and chasing the ball.

When Gabbi was about a year old, she started having  difficulty moving around.  She was soon diagnosed with immune-mediated polyarthritis. She was immediately started on the steroid Prednisone, to supress her immune system. Gabbi's mobility improved, but then she developed mange from the Prednisone. So she had to change medications.  After being on medications for a year, she was weaned off, and was a happy active puppy.

Nightmare was also very active, until one morning when I noticed a subtle difference in him.  He didn't follow me from the living room to the Kitchen, which he always did. I phoned the vet right away, it was a Saturday morning.  They were able to get me in right away with Dr. Elliot Kaplan.  I could not tell the vet anything specific, just that Nightmare was not himself.  The vet did an examination and ran some tests.  He said he would let me know about the results of the test as soon as he got them.

I went home, started vacuuming.  The phone rang about 5 mins later.  It was Dr. Kaplan telling me that one of the tests he did came back it was very serious.  He told me to rush back to the hospital with Nightmare as soon as possible.  

The next two weeks were spent with Nightmare in and out of the hospital, a battery of tests and huge doses of medications.  On July 23, 2006 at 1:30 am, Nightmare passed away with Karl and I holding him.  He had developed blood clots as a complication from Predinsone and the polyarthritis.

Karl and I were devastated.  Gabbi was freaked out and wouldn't come in the house for hours.  Karl and I buried him in the back yard so he would be close to us.  

After Karl and I separated in 2006, I could not bring myself to get another dog. I just did not feel like I could love another dog like Gabbi or Nightmare. Until 2009, when one of my co workers got a German Shepherd puppy.  She was adorable and I could feel myself wanting another a dog.

So I again, went to the Vernon SPCA and looked online at ads.  I found an ad for a Lab Border Collie mix puppy, when I saw them, I chose one.  I could feel right away that he would be the perfect Nightmare #2!

The next day, I went to show someone the ad for the puppy.  I found an ad for Bernese Mountain and Shepherd mix puppies.  I have always wanted a Bernese Mountain Dog, so I could not resist getting another puppy.  His name is Merrill Armegeddon!

The puppies became brothers quickly.  Gabbi was tolerant until they respected her as alpha.

 

When the puppies were 13 monthes old, a littermate, a sister came up for adoption.  I couldn't resist.  Her name was Cocoa, but we renamed her to Kilo.  She was a husky girl when I got her, and is very much a freight train. 

My pack was complete!  In April 2011, the puppies turned 2 and Gabbi turned 8!

Gabbi had a vet appointment on April 26, 2011 to find out about her limping.  The vet recommended x-rays to see how much damage had been done.  The x-rays showed significant deterioration of her joints in the shoulder. The vet recommended to admit her for the day, to do a joint tap and a blood test.  He suspected she had Rheumatoid Arthritis, but had to be sure.

April 28- Gabbi went to the vet for the day, she was sedated for a joint tap.  The test on the joint tap fluid came back full of white blood cells, but not conclusive of RA or polyarthritis. So the vet recommended the blood sample to be sent away to be tested for a definitive answer.

May 6 -The results came back and Gabbi was diagnosed with a return of Immune Mediated Polyarthritis. A great website for information describing the various types of polyarthritis, click here

To be brief, I am terrified for the treatment she has to go through to have a chance to live any life with quality. She is an increased risk of blood clots, like Nightmare #1, because of her age.

I want to track her progress and keep this blog post up to date, in hopes that other dog owners might find this helpful.

Treatment started May 8, 2011 - Gabbi started on a high dose of Prednisone, Azathorapine, and liquid Aspirin.

May 9-  Increased thirst is a side effect of the Pred. and it noticeably  increased for Gabbi.

May 12- Gabbi ate her breakfast, but was very lethargic for most of the day.  She vomited up all her food in the afternoon.  I phoned the vet, and he advised to stop the medication right away.  He suggested trying the medication again on Sunday and not to push food on her.

May 13- Gabbi ate her breakfast and dinner, didn't vomit, but still lethargic and very thirsty.

May 15- Restarted medication again

May 18- Gabbi had great energy and was playing and rolling around in the grass

May 19- appointment with the vet- he was impressed with how much the swelling had gone down and she was not limping as much.  We were both optimistic

May 20 - 22- Gabbi was good, just increased thirst

May 23- Gabbi was very lethargic, increased thirst, and decreased appetite

May 24 - Morning- Gabbi vomited up all of her food and wouldn't eat at all.  She was very lethargic, extremely watery eyes, diarrhea, difficulty walking due to un-stability.  She seemed to get worse very quickly. I called the vet about 12:30

By the early afternoon, her back left leg started to swell and her stomach was very red. There was a sore on her leg that started to bleed. The vet called me back about 1:30pm.  He advised me to bring her in for an appointment at 630 pm. 

From 4 pm until her appointment she was very hot and unable to move much.  The bleeding on the back of her leg was significantly more.

When we got to the vet, her temperature was very high, the bleeding had saturated her fur, and her heartbeat was high.

The vet shaved her belly to get a better look at the bleeding. The redness had increased significantly in her belly. The vet thought it look liked a tumour. She drew blood right away to look for mass cells.   Mass cells were present, but the vet recommended the blood sample be sent to a pathologist for a second opinion.

Two techs came in right away to take Gabbi to start her on IV fluids.  She needed to be stabilized right away.  She was not very responsive

Before we left, Karl and I went to say goodbye to her.  She wagged her tail and lifted her head when we came in, but she couldn't do much more than that.

May 25-  The vet called me just before 5am to tell me that Gabbi was not doing well. The techs had called the vet in at about 3am because her heart rate had gone up significantly.  The vet had managed to get her heart rate down a bit, but was very concerned.

The vet told me she was going downhill quickly and would be unlikely for her to recover.  The vet asked me if i wanted to continue treatment,  and I said no.  I didn't want Gabbi to suffer and I knew she was not well at all.

I called Karl to tell him we needed to go to the vet to put Gabbi down.

The vet called me back and told me that Gabbi had past away.

My mom, Jeanette, Josh and I met Karl at the vet to say good bye to Gabbi. 

I am still numb from how fast things happened this week.  Gabbi passed away within a month from her first appointment and 9 days from starting medication on consecutive days.

This condition is so hard to understand.  I really hope I have had a lifetime quota of dogs with immune mediated polyarthritis.

Crafts, Crocheting, Knitting etc. - Women's contribution

For the past few years I have been enjoying a lot of crocheting.  Lots of my friends are starting their families, and I love being able to give the new addition a homemade gift.  With each stitch I think of the baby and the family.  It is a great way to feel connected to others.

Crocheting is a very thought provoking hobby.  One day while I was in Zellers buying yarn, I was struck by the number of aisles of yarn there were.  Three aisles with just yarn, craft stuff only had a half of an aisle.  It encouraged me to think about the history of crocheting and how it has grown into a huge industry worth millions of dollars for countries around the world.

Little is known of crochet's early history. It seems likely that the earliest crochet was made using fingers, rather than the hooks used today. There are theories that crochet could have existed as early as 1500 BC, as part of nun's work, which included needlepoint lace and bobbin lace.

Crochet began as a cottage industry in Ireland with a lace called Irish crochet or guipure lace. In the mid 1800's it became a large industry because of the need of the people to supplement their income due to the great potato famine of that time. It has been suggested that four Irish nuns who were trained in a French convent introduced crochet to Ireland. It was a common practice in that time for each person to become skilled in making one thing and one thing only, such as a leaf or a flower. Another person would then crochet the different motifs together using a background stitch. If you have ever tried to crochet an Irish crochet pattern you can understand why it becomes such a difficult and tedious a project. The people who crocheted the Irish laces were truly masters of their craft. They didn't have radio, television, or even access to very many books during this time in history. This contributed to their ability and desire to focus on such an intricate and elaborate art and create such finely detailed work.

The main theory behind the origin of crochet seems to be that it began when it was realized that chains worked in a pattern would hang together without background fabric.

 

At one time crochet was considered for the wealthy only, for lavish decor in the home and dress. The poor folk were expected to stick with knitting basic needs such as socks and clothing and not dally around with experimental crochet. Angry words were published in magazines from the wealthy stating the lower class should stick to making necessities rather than fancy items that was not their place to wear or display. The poor to middle class lashed back as to their rights to use crochet as they pleased.  Much of this idea stemmed from fear the servants would be spending time crocheting when they should be working at the employer’s home. Because crochet samples can not be found among the many needlework methods taught in schools of the past, it is surmised crochet was left out because of the danger of experimentation and foolery.

Crochet began to emerge in Europe in the early nineteenth century, boosted by Mlle Riego de la Branchardiere, well known for her ability to take needle and bobbin lace designs and turn them into crochet patterns that could be duplicated. She published numerous patterns and also claimed to have invented lace-like crochet, today called Irish crochet.

According to the 2004 statistics, apparel articles & accessories knit & crochet was the first of the major Canadian Imports at $3,154,000 from Brunei in Malaysia.  The third major import from Brunei was textile art, needlecraft sets & worn textile articles at $48,000.  That is amazing!  Canada has thousands of trading partners, so to import this much knitted and crocheted textiles from one country, you can only guess how much money is contributed to the economy from tying strings together.

I know for myself, I have spent almost $500 in the past year on yarn and supplies alone.

Crochet and knitting and most crafts are done by women.  Look at scrapbooking, which is a huge industry! Not too many men in those stores. So all crafty women, please give yourself a pat on the back for keeping a huge chunk of the economy going!  For those women who are not crafty, remember to acknowledge the contribution of your crafty friends and family!!

Happy Crafting!

Much of the content of this post was copied from :
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/85872

please visit the article.  As of september 2015 the link was still active.

Doesn't matter why or how you decide to vote, as long as you VOTE!!

I have been interested in politics for as long as I can remember. From watching the news with my parents to taking political science courses in university. Being a social worker, I have seen up close how the personal is political!  I witness everyday how a government policy affects the daily lives of people with disabilities or people with low incomes.  Witnessing this reality, influences how I vote in any election, whether it is federal, provincial, municipal, or Cheif and council band election.   

This doesn't mean I am more informed about the platforms of political parties or that my opinion holds more weight.

When I consider how I make other decisions in my life, for example, about what services to purchase or where I buy groceries, I make my decision based on how I am made to feel at that business.  Is there good customer service? Can I find their business easily?  Are their prices reasonable and do they have a good selection of items?

For a few years, the only reason I gave my business to the service department at a car dealership, was because the service manager was really good looking and we shared the same sense of humour. Now I know the men in my family who know a lot about cars, are cringing if they are reading this.

So for people who don't go through a platform of the various political parties with a fine tooth comb, they should not be made to feel like they are less informed and shouldn't vote.  So if you wanna vote for the candidate that wears the best clothes, has a female leader, or is the candidate with a name you can remember, then that is your choice!

I think with many sources of media coverage about politics, many people are feeling that keeping up is too daunting.  I say, any decision to vote, is the right thing to do! As long as people vote.

I vote because the right for aboriginal people to vote 'with no strings attached' was granted in 1960!  This means for many years my family had no right to vote.  If people think that THEIR right to vote cannot be limited or taken away, just look at what happened at the University of Guelph?  A special ballot was held to allow students to vote on campus and the line-ups were very long.  The Harper government attempted to nullify 700 ballots cast by students.   But the special ballot was held up by Elections Canada.


Please schedule time to go to your nearest polling station and cast a vote!

Ronald McKelvie Sr. 1932-2011

I once heard, there is nothing more perfect then death, cause you can't screw it up. I didn't give it much thought until this past week, when Ron passed away. On March 20, 2011 at 8:20 pm Ron took his last breath, surrounded by over 20 family members. I don't think it gets more perfect then that, surrounded by people who love you!

This week preparing for Ron's celebration of life has been hectic, for my family. For me, I feel like I have been stuck in mud. I only had one job, that was to put together a power point presentation to show at Ron's celebration of life. I could not have got through this past week without so much support from my family and friends.

My sisters and brothers are so wonderful. My aunt, cousin and sister from Hazelton were all able to make it down. My aunt was amazing at helping with everything and being there for my mom too. My SIL Bev took great care of my brother Ron Jr. He came up with a great idea to do a meat draw at the celebration of life. The meatdraw raised over $300 that was donated to the Housing units where my parents live to help with the events they put on for kids. Ron loved kids so much, so it was a perfect fit!

So many family friends offered their support and positive thoughts during this difficult time. I am overwhelmed when I think of all the support.  I have to give special mention to a few people, that even today, stood out:

• My nephew Joshua, he was there for Ron and all the family.  For a young man, his compassion and affection to his family is outstanding.  
• My niece Candace who spent days and nights at Ron's bedside!  I will forever treasure the picture of us eating fish and donuts!
• My sister Gloria, who readily admits she is not a caregiver.  But her love and support for everyone is un-waivering and so needed.
• My sister Marie, who was able to make it down to be with rest of the family.  I was so happy to have her there.  An extra special thank you for my cousin Phil and his wife Marlise for helping with her flight!
• My aunt Dehlia, for taking such great care of mom.  I know how important sister's are for support, healing, and love during the hardest times in life!
• My cousin Bridie for also making the trip down to be with the family. 
• Bob and Liz Byers, Teresa and he son Chris & Glen and Wendy for being such great family and friends for Ronnie and Bev!

Without everyone's support our family would not have been able to get through that week and the weeks since then.  Not to mention, all the support made it possible to keep our sense of humour!

I hope everyone will hug, call, spend time or forgive their loved ones, because even you expect to lose someone, it is still a shock.

Please enjoy the picture story of Ron's life! Ron's Picture Story

Misunderstood Care

As I sit in my step dad's hospital room at 11 pm, I'm In a daze. While my family & I struggle to accept the inevitable loss, we also struggle with the battle of being misunderstood.

Our family is very close & caring. During times when family members are not well & in the hospital, much time is spent caring for that person. We automatically expect to stay at the family member's bedside until that person passes away or is well enough to leave.

This is just our way. In our hometown of Hazelton, hospital staff would be more familiar with the hands on support family provides. But here in the big city, hospital staff are both in awe & seemingly annoyed with our constant vigil. Most staff comment about how much family support & love we show to the person who is unwell & to each other. However, as visiting hours end, these comments soon turn to hints of how late it is, and asking us if we are going home soon. When they realize we aren't leaving easy, they remind us that it is past visiting hours.

This is also combined with other patients who do not understand why there is so many family members visiting.

As Ron's condition seemed to worsen today, our concern rose at the prospect of him spending the night alone. For myself, terrifying images raced through my head of struggling to breathe & nobody there to comfort him. With a bit of insistence, we were allowed to have one family member stay the night.

So as I sit at Ron's bedside I feel the pull of love for my dad & the push of 'policy'. When we asked if we could stay, they were a bit reluctant, but gave permission. Permission was caveated with a reiteration about hospital policy, that only one person can stay.

While I fully understand the need & purpose of policy, having it used as a way to push families out the door is incredibly isolating for family members. Then the person who is 'permitted' to stay is left to feel grateful, but does not want to be a 'burden' on staff.

Being here, is helping me to process, which will hopefully help to reach some level of closure.

Now it's 12:30 am. I feel better getting out some of those thoughts. Now I'm gonna make myself comfortable, listen to Ron's breathing, & let my mind take a wander down memory lane....

Update:
Later hat evening I spent with Ron, his breathing became increasingly worse and his pain unbearable.  About 3:30 am he became super agitated, and I had to run to get the nurses to check on him.  That is when they began to realize he was more than just a post - op patient. 

I expressed my fear to the nurse on duty and how my family needed to see him, and she got the message clear as a bell. Shift change happens at 7 am. By 8am the on-call orthepedic surgeon was in the room.  It was again clear from her questions and body language she realized the severity of Ron's condition. Physiotherapy tried to come in to do some exercises for Ron's hip at about 8:30.  I flatly refused them.  I made it very clear they weren't doing anything until Ron gets a shot for pain and it takes effect. They were surprised, and tried to push the issue  I said, the nurse is bringing a pain shot, I could find out when Ron was getting the shot or they could go find out so they would know when to come back. The backed out of the room.

By 9:30 am the Internal medicine doctor was in the room, with a tech doing an EKG.  The doctor was very clear that Ron could pass away at any moment due to his lungs or his heart. Our family again expressed concern about only one person being allowed to stay at night.  The doctor quickly reassured us that as many of us that wanted to stay would be allowed.

Throughout that day, there was over 30 family members that came to the hospital to say their good byes to Ron.  The private room Ron had, and the patient lounge was full.

So in the beginning, the attitude of the hospital staff was a bit  frustrating, but i now realize they were going based on the information and instructions they had from the surgeon that did the hip surgery.  But as soon as the Internal Medicine doctor was there to change the instructions, the nursing staff were amazing!

I dont think our family can say enough positive things about the nursing staff at the Richmond General Hospital.  Their compassion and support through the last two days of Ron's life was outstanding. 

But this whole experience just reinforced to me about how family must advocate for their loved ones.  

Home Improvements

Once I finished my master's degree, i was ready to make my house feel like my own. My ex and I had split up as I started my master's. Being single and owning a 4 bedroom house on a half acre is challenging! But I've started making improvements. First thing I did was get a new hot water heater, a new electrical box, a new sani plus pump for the toilet down stairs, two new lights fixtures for down stairs in the family, and new outside lights for front and back!

Those projects were all things I got others to do. But when I finished my master's my family all got together and got me a gift card to home depot! I used it to buy paint for my whole upstairs and to get tile in my kitchen/diningroom. Family friends wanted to get me clothing for my bday, but instead got me mortar for the tiling, which was a big $ help with the project.

Committing to these improvements was a huge step for me. Painting has always made me anxious due to the disruption and mess it makes. But I had no idea I would feel so empowered as a single woman to improve my house! Pictures are below of the tile in the kitchen, which was the biggest project. My brother in law, neice, & sister came to visit to lend their expertise. From that I learned enough to do the backsplash with my boyfriend. I even bought a tile saw!!!

This is my kitchen floor before!

This is what was underneath!

This was as the tiled was laid down!

This was before the backsplash!

This is when all the tiling was all done!

My other project was the floor in the spare room. I don't have money to do hardwood, so I read that you can paint linoleum floors.So I decided to try it!

This is the floor before the paint! Yellow floor and red walls, not the greatest combo!

But after it looks great!

Simple change that makes a huge impact!

I will be doing this to my home office and my bedroom this spring. So much easier then having carpet with four dogs running around the house!

A mixed breed - Wolfhound? Bernese? Shepherd?

My dog Arme is 22 monthes old.  When I got him, the breeder advertised him as Bernese Mountain Dog/Shepherd mix. I have always wanted a Bernese mountain dog, so I jumped at the chance to get even a Bernese mix.  As he grew older, he got scruffier and taller. His beard is infamous, as shown in the picture below. 

People always asked if he was Wolfhound mix.   I never gave it much thought until I found the picture below:

This picture is of a wolfhound/shepherd mix.  The resemblemce is striking.

I also have a full sister of Arme's, Kilo:

She has a much blockier head, not very scruffy, not very tall.  I know their mother was full shepherd, she was very long and completely black.  It's interesting to see the difference between the two.  Below is a picture of my dog pack!  From the left - Nightmare, Gabbi, Armegeddon, & Kilo!

Does anyone else have a wolfhound/shepherd mix?  I would love to see pictures!